Day 22: We unearth a 1994 cash-grab video starring the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles — or at least some version of them — We Wish You a Turtle Christmas, a special so low-quality, it happens in a sewer.

On this episode

• Mike Westfall (@fallwestmike), a completely ignored, dog-shaped chaise lounge no one ever sits on or talks about.
• Shawn Robare (@ShawnRobare), the bodacious brains behind Branded in the ’80s and co-founder of the Cult Film Club.
• Jonathan Zelenak (@TheSewerDen), pizza-powered proprietor of the Sewer Den.

Topics and tangents

• About the Sewer Den, Jonathan’s massive TMNT collection.
• Of course we touch on the Turtles’ Coming Out of Their Shells Tour.
• The Turtles’ smiles look like they’re from Soundgarden’s Black Hole Sun music video.
• Cash-grab video releases like this anime version of The Little Mermaid from 1975, which had a not-at-all-coincidental resurgence around 1990.
• Writer Tish Rabe also produced Big Bird in China and 3-2-1 Conact, created The Cat in the Hat Learning Library after Dr. Seuss’s death, and has written over 160 children’s books.
• Y’all want to watch 43 minutes of the Ninja Turtles on Oprah?
• That time a warehouse that housed the Rock-afire Explosion actually exploded.
• The resurgence of Rollerblades is right around the corner.
• The only pizza place willing to appear in this special is Sbarro, which has come a long way since the Fat Boys’ All You Can Eat.
• The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Pizza Cookbook is a real book you should own.
• The cheapest gifts we’ve ever gotten our parents from our elementary school Christmas bazaar.
• A fun game: Sneak Wrap Rap on a playlist in the middle of New Kids on the Block’s Christmas album and see if anyone notices.

After this episode

• Read Jonathan’s blog on The Sewer Den about We Wish You a Turtle Christmas, featuring a downloadable soundtrack!

You can visit the Advent Calendar House on the web at adventcalendar.house and on Twitter @adventcalhouse.