Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: We Wish You a Turtle Christmas

Day 22: We unearth a 1994 cash-grab video starring the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles — or at least some version of them — “We Wish You a Turtle Christmas,” a special so low-quality, it happens in a sewer.

On This Episode

  1. Mike Westfall (@fallwestmike), blow-dried towhead clearly drumming out of rhythm on a trash can.
  2. Shawn Robare (@ShawnRobare), the bodacious brains behind Branded in the ’80s and co-founder of the Cult Film Club.
  3. Jonathan Zelenak (@TheSewerDen), pizza-powered proprietor of the Sewer Den.

Topics and Tangents

  1. About the Sewer Den, Jonathan’s massive TMNT collection.
  2. Of course we touch on the Turtles’ Coming Out of Their Shells Tour.
  3. The Turtles’ smiles look like they’re from Soundgarden’s “Black Hole Sun” music video.
  4. Cash-grab video releases like this anime version of “The Little Mermaid” from 1975, which had a not-at-all-coincidental resurgence around 1990.
  5. Writer Tish Rabe also produced “Big Bird in China” and “3-2-1 Conact,” created “The Cat in the Hat Learning Library” after Dr. Seuss’s death, and has written over 160 children’s books.
  6. Y’all want to watch 43 minutes of the Ninja Turtles on Oprah?
  7. That time a warehouse that housed the Rock-afire Explosion actually exploded.
  8. The resurgence of Rollerblades is right around the corner.
  9. The only pizza place willing to appear in this special is Sbarro, which has come a long way since the Fat Boys’ “All You Can Eat.”
  10. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Pizza Cookbook is a real book you should own.
  11. The cheapest gifts we’ve ever gotten our parents from our elementary school Christmas bazaar.
  12. A fun game: Sneak “Wrap Rap” on a playlist in the middle of New Kids on the Block’s Christmas album and see if anyone notices.

After This Episode

Read Jonathan’s blog on The Sewer Den about “We Wish You a Turtle Christmas,” featuring a downloadable soundtrack!


You can visit the Advent Calendar House on the web at adventcalendar.house, on Twitter @adventcalhouse, and on the Christmas Podcast Network.

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